Why the merry with inverted comas? I dunno. I feel that eventhough I'm merry outside, I'm not exactly merry on the inside. Something's bugging me again but I don't know what this time. I'm surrounded by people yet I still feel lonely(Ok. Maybe the music's aggravating the feeling. I'll let you know what I'm listening to in a bit.). Something's up with me. I constantly feel bored. Hence, the reason for me to go out after school rather often these days..alone too. I have work to do loh. It's not like I've ever completed anything properly but that mood's just not in me. It's like I've gotten so sick of routine that I constantly want a change.
Anyway, a little flashback. Had my first real cross-country last Wednesday. I'm sure all of you know that I'm no athlete either but guess what? I joined the competitive race. It didn't really matter much because the length that we run for girls' competitive and mass run (everyone who's not in competitive has to run that) is the same: 3.2km. So yeah, cross-country in the same old place, MacRitchie Reservoir..a nice jungly area. Haha, I had running or rather..walking partners. Kekeke, we half-walked and ran but still managed to be under 200. I got no.186. Not too bad considering the fact that I haven't run in quite awhile from my MC and CNY.
On Thursday, I achieved another milestone. For the first time in my life, I watched a movie alone. The movie that received that great honour was none other than the local Singapore fare of " I Not Stupid Too" or "Xiao Hai Bu Pen Er".
From left: Shawn Lee, Ashley Leong and Joshua Ang.
Hey Suzanne! That's the 2 guys I was telling you about, the ones that are both Ah Beng-ish and cute. Actually, Joshua Ang's more of the Ah Beng one but he's super hot la.
Why did I watch this movie alone? And I was sitting in a bunch of CJC people. Super daunting. >.< You could say that my boredness kind of drove me to some sort of desparation. Anyway, many people said the movie was good and it was a super-tearjerker. Actually, I was counting on it to make me cry but ... it disappointed me. It only made me TEAR. Hah, call me heartless or whatever (That's what Zhi Ying and Sue Wen called me.) but it just made me tear. I mean it was really touching and everything but still did not manage to make me cry. The movies that made me cry like shit were "The Passion" and "About Schmidt"! Psst..I also watched just to see the super hot Joshua Ang. Hah. Very good-looking. You won't be disappointed with the boys.
Shawn Lee, Joshua Ang and the girl who scored 12 marks for Chinese.
But apart from that, I thought that the movie was very good because it reflected the sad truth of education today and sometimes, I kind of saw my story in the movie. I'm not involved in gangsterism or anything but I could empathise with them when there was miscommunication between the parents and the kids. I might not look like that kind but my "antics" at home will shock quite a few because I'm usually known as the "hardly-ever-bad-tempered-Chareli". I could identify with the kids. All the "you-don't understand-me thing" between the parents and kids..the angst. I felt it all before. And I'm very surprised how "moving" to Singapore also removed all the angst out of me. Compare me with my parents NOW and THEN..you'll be shocked. There's a stark contrast.
Oh yeah, I'm listening to the movie's theme song which is sang by Hong Junyang. A very meaningful song. It speaks up for all those out there who have ever felt hopeless. Weirdly enough, it makes me ponder on my past. Just like how the movie made me feel. And also another weird thing, after watching the movie, it made me feel "cooler?" Haha. It also made me feel like there was something out there waiting for me. Like my destiny is coming or something. Another random thought, I was a really rebellious kid. Whatever my parents said I couldn't do, I liked doing the opposite even more. Now I understand why Hui Yi wrote that I love defying my parents in my Friendster testmonial. My mum often said that I have split personalities. I can be so nice one minute and absolutely horrible the next. I guess that's just the Gemini in me showing.
Now..let's not dwell on the past and move on to today/yesterday/ FRIDAY!
It was a waste of time going to school!!! I only attended a pathetic Bio lecture. The first lecture (Chem) was canceled due to the ridiculously long assembly. Then after that, we had recess, Physics lecture (free period for me) and 2 periods of Mother Tongue which was a waste for me too because Cikgu didn't come. Had to take care of her sick son. Then after that, we all found out that part of the class went to NAFA to sell their Fun-O-Rama coupons. (Fun-O-Rama is my college's upcoming funfair. Big event. Tell you more soon.) SO, we didn't have any class for the rest of the day but we were not allowed to get out of school until 1.10pm. So, at first we were all at out wit's end. Didn't know what to do with our free time. Some guys left class to play basketball and Kenneth, Pet and I played a few rounds of Hangman while Priya and Bei Shi..well, you could say that they were out spectators.
Then, Pet and Ken jogged and I timed for them. Rather fun eventhough Ken only did 3 rounds and Pet did 5. Damn fit woman. I didn't join them because I didn't want to make myself sweaty..then Pet and Priya left to buy Fun-O-Rama stuff, leaving Bei Shi and I with Ken. Then we ended up chatting while watching the guys play basketball from across the field. We were at the bleaches, see? I was really surprised to find out that Ken's younger bro is slightly gangster-ish as he claims it and has A GIRLFRIEND!! He's so unlike Ken but yet, he's similar to Ken. Ken said he doesn't know what to advise his bro and his bro also claims that he doesn't understand him..His bro also has a higher priority for his friends rather than family. This sounds so much like the scenario in "I Not Stupid Too"!! I can slightly understand what his bro is going through but still, I can't help. Neither can Ken nor Bei Shi who are even more filial than me during their earlier teen years. Sigh~
Anyway, actually school today wasn't a waste at all. I got to hang out with my classmates. Learn more about them and yeah, bond. Chatting to them made me realise that I hate and love my school at the same time. I love it for whatever it stands and its greatness but I also hate it for the certain cultures that it creates. The Anti-Chinese culture??! That is so stupid. I realised my mistake. I used to stay away from Chinese too, having this stupid mentality that it was inferior. I admit my mistake and it was stupid of me. Now, I'm not like that. I want to learn Chinese and practise it. I think those who shun it are stupid. Posers. Learning another language is always beneficial. Suit yourself if you want to be monolingual(not entirely sure of the term.) It is such a wrong mentality to think that Chinese is below you and English is superior just because of the Westerns. I'll hate to think of the state of the country if this situation perseveres on...or maybe it's just my school. That's being snobbish without realising it. I can tell that my friends are sad about it too, listening to what they say just tells you alot.
it's just a sad sad fact of life that i can't change.
We're all also sad and bored of routine. Sometimes feels like we would scream out loud! We miss our old life. When you're in JC, you'll miss sec school. When you're in sec school, you'll miss primary but worst of all, when you're working, you'll miss SCHOOLING. I don't want to be that sullen adult that I see over there. But I can't change my path either. That's where we're all heading. Doesn't it seem such a waste? We'll all die one day anyway (Quote Shouri).
On the other hand, my class will be selling candy floss and lemonade for the funfair and the most horrible thing is that everything will be PINK. The theme will be PINK, the name will have something to do with PINK, we'll have to wear PINK and it's all because of the damn candy floss's colour. They're getting the girls hot pink ribbons to tie their hair with but worst of all, the guys will have to wear PINK togas( like all those Greek Gods) and might have "artificially done" rosy cheeks. Hah. For once, I'm glad that I'm not a guy. Oh, we also had to buy pink t-shirts (everyone had to) and the t-shirts came in white, pastel pink and pastel blue. Not exactly rejoicing at the idea of pink t-shirts, most of us bought another white one.
And I actually spat some water (after I had a drink at the water cooler) when I saw Jian Nan and Wei Jie in the pink shirts when we're about to go home. Hah. I'm not used to seeing guys wear pink. Just hope that I won't get blinded on that very faithful Fun-O-Rama Day. Hope Penny can make it too. And that reminds me, I'll need to borrow my uncle's digicam. I CANNOT MISS THIS GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY OF EMBARASSMENT. ;) That's enough pondering for tonight. I wonder whether anyone will actually read this long post. And I've been listening to that same song over and over and over since 2.17am and it's already 3.29am. I'm mad.
-chareli-
p.s: I forgot to tell you people that I watched another movie today and once again, ALONE. That's how bored I am. I didn't go straight home after hanging out with the gang. But today I watched Casanova in the ever-damned cinema of Lido. Bloody cramped spaces. And the stupid guy in front of me HAD TO lean on his chair, leaving me with practically no space for my legs unless I sat "kangkang" (kangkang=legs wide open). Who cares..it's dark in the cinema anyway. I also nearly tumbled on a woman on my way back from the toilet. I should have watched something else. Casanova wasn't worth the expensive weekend rates at all. (S$9.50). Oh well ~
0 comments:
Post a Comment