A (much-needed) Break

Yeaps. I don't care la. I'll go on hiatus whenever I want. I need to blog when I feel like it. After all, blogging's just expressing myself. It's not like I'm watching a tv serial on youtube or anything. So heck the hiatus! I'll blog when I want to! So much for self-discipline, eh? =P

My Prelims are DEFINITELY NOT OVER and FAR FROM OVER. Still have about 1 week plus of this rubbish. A friend told me that I shouldn't worry because the Prelims will be over in a blink. Well, my friend, I feel that it's one long painful blink in the ass =)

I have a break unlike most of my classmates because they'll be sitting for their Physics paper 1 and 2 tomorrow(today rather, checking the time)[GOOD LUCK!] and moi dropped Physics since early last year. One of the most sensible things I've done. I hate Physics to the core and I'm sure that the feeling is mutual. So, lucky me has about a 5 or 4 day break (yes, I cannot count) until the next paper next Wednesday.
The whole week has been an absolute vampire which sucks on energy! It has been so energy-draining mentally and physically. Everyday, it's the same grinding routine. Finished a paper, sleep (and oversleep), wake up, dinner, cram for the next paper, rollcall, shower, cram somemore, sleep, wake up early to cram again, go to school in a lethargic mode and sit for the paper! It has been this way for the past 4 fucking days!!! Argh! I can't even keep track of the day. I kept thinking that today was Wednesday! It's absolute crap man. What a life..wait let me correct that. What a routine. For the present, I have no life.

I've been doing some thinking and I feel that the Prelims is absolute rubbish for people like me who didn't mug and is a waste of time. I could use the time to mug. But without the Prelims, I wouldn't wake up to realisation and I wouldn't be able to realise how important it is to mug real DAMN HARD. Without the Prelims, I would obviously still be dancing my days away, thinking that the A Levels still have years to come. And that thought is an absolutely crappy thought because the As will be here in like... 2 months???

Anyway, the papers are so-so and ok la. I'm not really in a position to judge. I didn't finish mugging. In fact, you could hardly call that mugging(it's not even an inch of mugging!) and yes, I'm admitting it openly. I've already accepted the fact that I didn't put in much effort and hence, shouldn't expect much for my results. The past papers were rather "vomit blood" actually.... but if you studied, they're actually quite ok. So, I should be pissed with myself for putting myself in this rut again right? Have been pissed with myself already and enough ranting and no action.
I'll try to compensate the loss in the past few papers by mugging and doing what I can for those that still have yet to come.
Seriously, it's not like I'm dumb(though I'm sure some people may perceive me as that). I'm just fucking lazy, have no fucking time management and self-discipline whatsoever.
Nonetheless, this wake up call will serve me well. The results may not be good but apparently, I won't really need them so, heck that.
After the Prelims, it's going to change. This time I'm not kidding. I'm not even going to go back on my word. I'll prove you guys wrong. I'll mug damn hard. Everyday. I'll make it happen.

Most importantly, I'll stop disappointing myself.