It All Continues...

I'm still thinking of how to break the news to my parents. Shall not tell them so soon. =P
After my dad's operation. Definitely then.
By the way, I scored 24.5/50 for my GP comprehension. Not too shabby considering I didn't do my vocab (Madam wrote "THIS IS SUICIDE!!" Haha!) at all and left my AQ in a tattered mess (I did get a mark for my last sentence though =D ). Wished I had done everything. Wish indeed. BUT I NEED HALF MARK MORE TO PASS THE COMPRE ALONE!!! What the hell is with me and all the little marks that are my bright pathways to passing???!!
Chem is like this. So is GP! Oh darn. But I'm sure I can pass GP. Thanks to my common test defense mechanism.
Madam Lim (my Chem tutor) spoke to Kenneth, Chin Yen, Gen and me today (all in order) after our SPA-Skill A.
I remember telling Bei Shi that I was fine today and I wasn't the day before. One broke down when Madam spoke to her. It was rather pitiful to see her that way too. Maybe she was biting off more than she could chew. Just maybe.
I was totally fine before Madam spoke to me. Already accepting my failures and stuff. But I don't know why, when she spoke to me, I felt like choking again, eventhough I was perfectly fine a second before. Ok. Maybe not as fine as I thought I was, I might have still been hurting inside. I believe I was and still am eventhough it's not as severe as before. Was I wearing a mask again? Just to hide my feelings?
When she spoke to me, I tried to reply but I felt a huge lump in my throat. After that, I felt some tears well up in my eyes. If I wasn't trying so hard to control them, I'm sure the tears would just stream down my face. I don't know why I felt so bad all of a sudden. Maybe it was because I felt that I disappointed everyone again after I had been given a second chance. I wasn't sure but I had a feeling that she could see the tears in my eyes.
They never streamed out. I didn't want to show her how "weak" I was. I was just putting a front again.

They were right. Geminis always try to hide their feelings and even are good at hiding them. I guess so.

-chareli-

p.s: Despite all the choking and welling-up of tears, it was great to chat to Kenneth today. I really enjoyed talking to him about "stuff" until I even made myself go late for tuition. Haha. I love hearing his opinions. They're always so very interesting and it was great to see more of the talkative Kenneth as well. =)
I like knowing my classmates better and Penny loves stingray!