You Ain't Nothing But A ...

DOUCHEBAG.

Lousy all the time.

You ain't nothing but a douchebag. Lousy all the time. Yeah yeah yeah!

To the tune of Elvis Presley's Hound Dog.


Bloody losers. Just because I do it silently, does not mean I AM ALRIGHT DOING IT.

I guess your impossibly thick skull cannot fathom such simple facts that even kittens would be able to follow simply as that. Lousy good-for-nothing-douchebags.
Oh how I wish I did not have to deal with this everyday...

Just Two Words

Thank you.

How hard is it to voice those two words? Yes, they are simple words. Powerful albeit. I use it quite often but sometimes, I still am surprised by the magnitude of the effect at which these words create.

(I seem to be having difficulty at writing this post. Nothing to do with having to exercise my personal censorship or what not. Quite possibly due to a lack of writing and reading. The mind is very rusty. Thus, the great mental block.)

Come day by day, I'm more of a believer that we're a society of ungrateful twats as compared to Xenu ever visiting Earth once a upon a "time". <== Can someone tell me whether this punctuation mark is grammatically correct? I seem to not be able to recall whether it was "time." or "time". Geez, talk about brain rot.

Perhaps, you might be able to intelligently guess what generated this idea that turned into a post. =) It is no question that I really do think a lot of my housemates are a bunch of lazy gits (Don't worry, they don't read my blog. =P ) and this recurring thought often hits whenever I am left cleaning up the mess left behind. Yes, it may be aimed at my twatty mates but I sincerely do believe that everyone out there is appreciating each and every one of their own a little less every day.

We're trampling over good actions and intentions that were once so willingly given. It is no wonder the good have also lost their faith (well, sort of) in mankind and walked over to the dark side! You can now bid farewell to the society of before. I foresee us morphing into savage creatures with mounting levels of disrespect, void of appreciation.

Hold on, we already are!

p.s: My little "giving back" section on the right has been removed because I see no need of putting up links to websites which I do not visit (call me a hypocrite!) but with all my heart, I do believe in the welfare of animals. No fur and skin! Same goes to poaching!

Introducing Madam Wong Geok Chu

Remember The Cooking Pig (TCP) ?
It was very unfortunate for shim (TCP is neither female nor male.) to have caught that dreaded Swine Flu. Hence, TCP being not very alert and sick as well...

Introducing Macam Wong Geok Chu, Peranakan Queen.

Made shim into food for Madam Wong Geok Chu! Babi pongteh to be more precise. Dear dear, such an unfortunate event to have befallen dear old TCP.
Lesson learned: Pigs should stay away from Nyonya queens.

Madam Wong Geok Chu spared no time and was straight to business! Nyonya queens are always busy and on the run!

Ooh, a note?

With love, Madam Wong Geok Chu.

Dirty speckled rice cooker lids are not welcomed by Madam Wong Geok Chu.

Wow. Kitchenland sure is one busy place! =D

The Adventures of The Cooking Pig and Many Other Signs

Howdy peeps! I've been meaning to blog about this for a few days already but sometimes photo editing just puts me off. I think it's all because of my really slow (but still working) computer. X)
You do have to give props to this laptop for serving me so well throughout those four years despite my occasional tantrums and keyboard banging!

Hmmm. I haven't had the chance to introduce you people to my housemates yet but this post doesn't really need you to know them.

As we all know, living together in a big old empty house isn't easy when the people inside don't come from the same family, don't do the same things you do, don't think the same way you do and (perhaps) aren't the same gender that you are. Simply put, it makes me "faint" sometimes living with a bunch of boys!
*And I thought it wouldn't be all that different living with girls. Actually, they do sometimes behave like girls but that's a story for another day.*

Life was good for awhile until their little antics started to pop out of nowhere. I say "their little antics" with much confidence because I am very sure that I did not do any of those that I'm about to complain. Why would I complain about my own habits? Haha!

FYI: Three of the guys (G, J and C) live upstairs and the rest (S, R, A and myself) live downstairs. Most of these little "incidents" happen downstairs. However, we all share the toilet and kitchen even though there is another toilet and kitchen upstairs. =)

This first sign here started out as a joke because C often complained that S was "stealing" his bread without paying him.
*C and S study Medicine together and they quarrel more often than a married couple would!*

So just for laughs, I drew this "Bread Ban List" out of nowhere and we were all sniggering when S was quite baffled to see this looking back at him as he faced the fridge.

This one below happened a few days after my "Missing Roast Turkey" incident. What happened was that I had a pack of roast turkey slices which was opened and I left it in the fridge with a couple more slices. Next thing you know, IT WAS GONE! BOX AND ALL!

The tiny inscription at the bottom of the caricature says " This is not me but I do sort of feel like that..."

The sign is still hanging there. No one admitted to it. I shortly dismissed it as a small matter and perhaps, I ate it myself and totally forgot about it. WOOOO, mysterious!

Sign number 3 sits in both the toilet downstairs and came about from a situation of frustration and annoyance having seen residues of urine and feces so many times when going to the toilet.

'Please brush the toilet bowl after you leave any shit stains because I sure as hell do not want to say "hello" to your shit a couple times of the day and I'm pretty sure you wouldn't want to either. The same goes for piss, if any. :) '

The red ink is quite ruined after many sessions of condensation in the shower. This sign is pretty hilarious in my opinion. Kekeke. It did help slightly but you know humans, the occasional slip ups here and there. Hoho!

One two many slip ups led to this sign here...

' P.S: Judging by your YELLOW piss, I suggest you drink more water! XD '

Too many bowls of yellow urine makes you fume in fury! Oh yeah, the little inscription below the cartoon says 'This is not me either' in reference to the Roast Turkey sign. X)

Moving on to the kitchen (Or shall I start calling it Kitchenland after this?), things were getting a little rowdy in there, getting messier day by day. I don't like to nag at people, neither do I like to pinpoint every little mistake that they do. It was really getting quite unbearable until one day... The Cooking Pig strikes!

'The Cooking Pig (TCP) who guards Kitchenland.'
Notice that TCP has a smile on its face.

As TCP looks around, TCP couldn't help but frown...
The cap of a sauce was loose,
Now, who was this lousy goose?

'The Cooking Pig isn't very happy.'

Greeted by a bigger pile of shit,
The Cooking Pig yelled and spit.
Those gums grew out fangs,
The Cooking Pig was leaving this place with a bang!

'I'm about to spout vulgarities here if they don't brush up. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....'

Oh no! Not again! Another bag full of rubbish! Hanging there, waiting for the flies to infest upon it!

Zooming in on the sign right next to it...

'Please be considerate enough to empty the bin if it's F.U.L.L!!! You don't want stuff (aka shit) rotting in the house, do you?

Our current favourite comic of the hour, TCP, has to say 'PUI!' to that huge pile of stinking crap there! XD


Looking around, there was still mess to be found.
TCP couldn't help but frown.
To clean this mess I am not bound!

Finally! An idea! A way that would make that culprit clean up after his own mess!

WTF number 1.

WTF number 2.

HEHEHE. Those 'WTFs' are bound to catch some attention to say the least!
*And it did work! XD *

' I am the awesome Cooking Pig that guards Kitchenland. Treat me right and I will not put up a fight! *Toothy grin.* '

Wow. Sure did take me a long one. This blog post, I mean. Don't know why my creative juices were totally clogged when I tried to write this. Took me approximately three days? Damn!

Most of the guys were really amused by this series. =P

Psst...

I heard that there was a loud "discussion" in the morning whereby the culprit questioned my INTEGRITY for not telling him facefront and instead, doing it behind his back. To be honest, no one pinpointed you. Just clean up your mess and no one gets hurt!

Now, doesn't cooperation make the world a happier place? ;D

Good Morning!

Rise and shine from the new house! YES! I've MOVED! HAHAHA. Moved yesterday. How interesting is that. XD

Some pictures will be up soon.

I think I'll try to go to sleep again. =P

It's Revelations Day!

Yeah, I actually kind of feel like that little dude up there after today's dinner and after-dinner-chat. O_O

What to do. It's Revelation's Day!

Revelations of people around you! Stuff revealed about them that you never thought you knew! And you thought you knew them well. -__-" Two years isn't really well enough I suppose. Haha!
I know we really shouldn't stereotype people (In that case, what use is analysing people and grouping them??) because people NEVER. EVER. FAIL. TO. SURPRISE. YOU.

Hehehe. I was really enlightened after today's dinner chat. The most crucial and juicy bits cannot be revealed for confidential purposes and also because all five of us made a deal at the table to try not to reveal anything to anyone outside. Haha!

Random thoughts:

Funny that you should pick the flower because I thought that you didn't like almost every flower.

Not surprised to hear your story because we just felt like you would have raked a few already.

I wonder whether I believe that that stone is blue just because you said it is blue. Thinking back, I think you said it with honest brown eyes.

The "Three Wise Men" have a lot to say.

This is better than a story book. Hahaha! XD

--------------

Once again, never judge a book by its cover! I cannot emphasise enough!

Someone said that I look like the kind that wouldn't wait and just go for it when the the missing piece is filled. Really? I wonder why I give out that vibe. Perhaps, it's my lack of reservations. Haha!

How does one who has given it away look like?

--------------

As high as I was, I got down pretty quickly as well. Why? I don't know. Because. I don't know. I really don't know. Maybe because it was of something I have not felt before. Something that I was lacking in. Something that I don't really see coming in the near future.

Something tells me that I really should be focusing on those essays now. Haha!

"And the shadow of the day will embrace the world in grey, and the sun will set for You."

Hot Water, The Current Love of My Life

It's been a week since I've had proper hot water to shower with.

The water heater went boink and only got repaired 7 days later. How wonderfully efficient Australia is. -__-" Initially, I thought that this will be a breeze as it's already spring here and I've always taken cold showers back home anyway. Better it spoiled in spring than in winter, no? I can only imagine icicles shooting out of the shower head in winter if the WATER WAS SO FREAKING COLD IN SPRING!!!!!! >:O

Cold water in Australia sure isn't the same like the one back home. OHMYGOD! IT'S LIKE POURING ICE DOWN YOUR BACK AND GOD FORBID, VERY NUMBING TO MY *AHEM* VAGINA *AHEM*. I've never felt more reluctant to shower. I felt like a cat being made to swim every time I had to step into that shower.

First, the legs. Not too bad. Then, the arms. Okay, this is getting abit chilly. A drop hits my shoulder and sends shivers down my spine. I recline, I don't think I can take this cold water. It's too big an opponent for me to fight! No says my mind. You're not that lousy! Go on and take it! Well, you can't avoid taking a shower anyway. Personal hygiene remember? You don't want to be one of those people who have their personal fly trailing them. Start rubbing myself, maybe I'll get some heat onto my skin and it wouldn't feel so bad in this fucking icy cold water. PLUNGE IN and I start SCREAMING.

FUCKFUCKFUCKCHEEBYEWHATTHEHELLLLLLLLLLLL.

Words cannot sum my shock. And literally, I was in shock from the cold water. I'll quickly get this over and done with. At least, I can say I have showered.

Can you imagine my agony having to go through that for 7 days? (Well to be fair, me and my housemates. Those who went to the gym to shower ARE NOT COUNTED!) And it's not like the spring sun warmed the water. I didn't feel the slightest heat from the weather at all! Sigh, I never longed for hot water so much in my life. So much that I almost considered getting a cold shower outside where it was at least warm under the sun! XP

Sigh, Hot Water... I really really really really really love you now.

Oi Bitch!

So, you have found out our tricks HAVE YOU? Trying to get us at your mercy? Threatening us?

You're very wrong to think that we're so bulliable (Haha, is that even a word?).

Looks are very deceiving. Heed my words, people! You never know who's going to turn on you the last minute. Heck, that old woman on that garden bench might just come up to you one day and say "Fuck you!" Well, if that ever happens (how unfortunate for you) but you could always reply her with "Hell no! You're dry, old hag!"

Hahaha. Your challenge is nothing. We're going to bring you down. Hah! You better practise begging for mercy for your little role later on.

I do have to say, you're quite amazing... in the sense that I have never met any one like you, where they have 999 faces on at the same time. You really deserve an Oscar for playing "The Saint" so well.

Refer to this.

Two- Faced.

I sometimes wonder what it is like to take someone's words in your hands and twist the words until not a drop drips off it.

I am not saying that I am a Saint but I know for sure that I definitely am not one for manipulation and backstabbing. If I have ever done any backstabbing, it's most probably because I'm not your biggest fan or you have stepped on my toes. =)

I find it very intriguing that you still can maintain that level of normality with us when you're talking to us. Don't you have any guilt lying deep down that crappy organ inside you that you call a "heart" ? How do you manage to look us in the eye and tell us something when you very well know that what you just said is a big fat lie? I don't understand how you have to go behind our backs to pass messages to each of us. Maybe if you dig deep deep down your anus, you might find a little courage stuck in it.

Words could not describe my fury when I found out the nasty deeds you have done. I felt myself so stupid to have believed and trusted you.

"Why did I tell you this? Why did I tell you that?"
"Why did I do so many things for you?"
"I can't believe you would actually do or say that!"

HOW DID I EVEN TOLERATE YOU AND YOUR WRONGDOINGS?

Frankly, now I know why your closest people run the furthest away from you. I should have known to never take anything from you at face value. Haha call me blind but I think I have finally realised.

You may not look a thing like Two-Faced over here...



but one thing's for sure, I think you're more suited for the role than he is.

Cupcake Fever!

One day, ilerahc tees went totally crazy and decided to bake NINETY-SIX cupcakes for a combined birthday party! It was just a birthday party for Lisa, Craig, Gary and Wilson; all of whom are August babies. What a bad month August is. I'm starting to hate it because too many people have birthdays in it and it's really burning a hole in my pocket. WHY DO PEOPLE HAVE TO KEEP MAKING BABIES IN... (what is 9 months before August?)NOVEMBER??!!!!!!

Haha. I just thought of a something lame. 96 is like the opposite of 69. Any significance to you? HAHA.

I KNOW!

I'M SO LAME!!

I think maybe it's the lack of sleep or did I overdosed on it? =P

So, Crazy Girl (Let's call myself that in this post from this point after.) started her baking at 2am. YES! 2am on the day of the party itself!!!

4 batches done... and a pizza too before that! Make that two. The other pizza was hiding in Crazy Girl's tummy. Midnight snack. XD

Showcasing the unfrosted chocolate and vanilla cakes.

Carrot cupcakes with cream cheese frosting that has a hint of orange in it.

"Fake" carrot cupcakes. Haha. They're actually vanilla cupcakes frosted with my cream cheese frosting because there was still a bit of it left.

Hazelnut cupcakes with chaotah Nutella icing. Obviously the icing wasn't supposed to be chaotah lah. Something went wrong with my Nutella. I think it hardened in my really-really-cold room and then screwed the icing up. I tried to melt the nutella but it became more and more dry and had a hint of chaotahness to it. Haha. Oh well. I was really pleased with the cake though which I BAKED WITHOUT FOLLOWING THE INSTRUCTIONS. I did my own dump-and-bake style. Haha!!!!

After getting a stroke of genius and slightly fed up with the chaotah "icing", I decided to just spread Nutella on it. Here's a happy-looking Nutella cupcake! =D

Double chocolate cupcakes with dark chocolate ganache and marshmallows!

Smiley marshmallow man in a cupcake.

Smiley face on the vanilla cakes that were frosted with vanilla buttercream frosting.

Cookies and cream! I was supposed to decorate it further with cookie crumbs but I ran out of time. Haha.

Camwhoring of the cupcakes:












Cupcake count:

1. Vanilla cupcakes - 24. Recipe here.
2. Double chocolate cupcakes - 12. Recipe here.
3. Carrot cupcakes (Martha Stewart style!)- 12. Recipe here.
4. Cookies and cream cupcakes - 24. Recipe here.
5. Nutella hazelnut cupcakes - 24. Recipe has yet to be typed and uploaded. =)

TOTAL: 96

OHMYGODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.

I.
AM.
PSYCHO.
CRAZY.
GIRL.

HAHAHA.

Guess what!
SCREW WAKE UP CALL.
I can't be bothered anymore. =P

Let me leave you guys to happy photos of happy cupcakes. =)

be Happy.